The Golf Cart, the Fridge and his Vacuum

Q: What do you get when you cross a golf cart with a part from your fridge and the insides of a vacuum?

A: One really messed up instrument of musical destruction

I feel like I’ve said this before but here it goes for those of you that missed it the first time. Once again the refrigerator grates have taken over. My many years of bartending experience have led me to the conclusion that this grate is most likely from some sort of beer fridge, and in a weird/sad way that makes me happy. The grate was a gift from a couple of Newfies I know that somehow managed to break into our place while Jen and I were away over the summer. In the interests of the two Newfies’ privacy I have changed their names and will now refer to them as Sarah and Jason. .

The reason I like this grate so much more then just a conventional grate is the fact that being from a beer fridge means it has separating bars running through it. These bars are nice and thick so they produce this great bass sound. If you get two or three vibrating as you pluck them the whole contraption starts to rumble in an awesome and sometimes scary way. The golf cart was donated by a Fembotian father who I will now refer to as Mr. P. I love a few things about the cart. One is that it gives the instrument a chance to stand on its own. Two it is very easy to move around now because of its big honking wheels. Three the instrument can recline back on a varying degree of angles which adds to it stability and easy playability. And lastly I think I like the cart so much because it is golf related and I hate golf. Or is it that golf hates me? Either way we both know that I will stay away from it, and if it gets in my way I’m dismantling it and turning it into something else. Trust me, this isn’t the first time, and I have a Two Stringed Golf and Refrigerator Bass to prove it.

And now we come to the vacuum body. This thing has been sitting in the spaceroom for years now. I have moved it about twenty times from one permanent spot to another. I have tripped over it; it has fallen on my head and even drawn blood on more than one occasion. Now it’s trapped in the instrument, never to be freed and that makes me very happy. It’s now just one less thing for my dented brain to worry about.

I guess I should wrap this up. Some of the other bits involved are a few strings to pluck away at when one tires of the tines from time to time. There is also a giant spring running from the bass of the instrument to the grate that once held beer. This adds to the overall resonance of the instrument, and Dave loves springs. And lastly, all the wood on this bad boy was given to me by my good friend Jules, of Jules and Tools. She is always giving me great stuff and I always give her a hard time, but that’s just the kind of guy I am.