Percussive Box TDSOFP

This is one of those things that the big toy companies don't want you
to know about. The dangers that awaited every child as they were young
and growing, the instruments of jagged edges and sharp tips of metal that
could not only take an eye out, but if you did not practice the utmost
precautions you might even lose a limb. I had heard a rumor that back in '43,
somewhere south of the border a small boy who grew up the son of a somewhat
destitute coal miner had been playing his TDSOFP when something happened. The
details get a bit sketchy as to what exactly happened; some say that it was an
earthquake that caused the accident, others say one of the old
abandoned mine shafts caved in and triggered it. All we know is
that nobody really knows for sure. The young boy had somehow managed
to puncture both his legs, and what most people nowadays will agree on as
being his left arm. It didn't take long for the gangrene to set in, and
it took even less time for that kids' toy manufacturing company to
backpedal their way right out of town, destroying all of the evidence in their
wake.

I was lucky to get my hands on a copy of one of the original blueprints
and have painstakingly managed to rebuild this instrument. Many of the
materials from the original are now deemed harmful by today's standards; some
were even considered to be downright toxic, so obviously I had to improvise
a little. Some of the new bits include carburetor caps, a light for a
fish tank, a sink stop, some poor kid's bell from their bike, my new
favorite item - fridge grates, and a few old aluminum buoys we found up north last
year. The body is made from salvaged house parts.